Where does unhappiness come from?
I work with a number of clients who are very successful, are very well known in their community and have a lot of money. A lot of outsiders would look at them and automatically assume they are happy. For someone who gets to see behind the curtain, there are a number of those people who are not happy. We think how is it they can have all that they have and not be happy? I’ll tell you what is holding most people back from happiness. The number one enemy of happiness is fear. They have fear as well, they have accomplished a lot and they have fear of losing everything, not only for them, but all those they support and employ as well. The #1 enemy of happiness is fear. How do we start to eliminate some of that fear? The greatest antidote to fear is love. When you incorporate more love into your life, you start to diminish that fear to allow more happiness to grow. Now, what is the greatest form of love? It’s gratitude. When you incorporate more gratitude into your life, it will increase the love to diminish the fear to allow more happiness. A lot of people say, OK Derek, I’m going to be more grateful this year, and that’s a goal, but we have to put action steps to that goal to make it happen.
Success Leaves Clues
One of my great mentors is Darren Hardy and Darren talked about a time him and his wife weren’t getting along so well and he knew he had to change his state. The way he would change his state is that he journals every night, and that night he made a goal he would write down five things of gratitude about his wife. Not only did he do it that night, he continued to do it night, after night after night. Every night he would write down the five things he was grateful for about for his wife. Most days they came easy, some days it was harder but he did it every night. Eventually one day he gave that special journal to his wife and she wept. It’s not about getting extra credit points giving the list to your spouse, partner or friend. It’s about who he became. He had more gratitude every day. He was able to become hyper focused in finding that gratitude for his wife every single day.
- Do you think it helped Darren’s energy when he focused on what he was grateful for about his wife instead of what was wrong?
- Do you think she could sense the change in energy as well?
Don’t just hope it gets better…. take intentional action!
First, you can follow Darren Hardy’s method and write down five things every day that you are grateful for. Remember, energy flows where the attention goes.
Or every morning write five letters or cards of gratitude to other people. It’s not just a thank you card, “Hey Jared, it was great having lunch with you yesterday”. It’s a card coming from appreciation and gratitude. “Hey Jared, I just want you to know how incredible you are. You are such an incredible human being. The energy you bring into a room is phenomenal. When you come see me, it makes me excited and happy, which makes me a better person every day, where I can help more people, so you are affecting the lives of many. I want to thank you for being you!” That is an unconditional card or letter of gratitude. If you start off with more gratitude in your life, it brings more love which starts to eliminate the fear which has allowed many of those who I work with to have more happiness.
So, I challenge you to take on at least one of those two action steps. Either write gratitude in your journal every night or you write letters or cards of gratitude and send them out to others every single morning. If you take on one or both of those simple action steps, I guarantee you will be one step closer to reaching your full potential and living the happier life you deserve.
Be good humans,